Another one of those bland 'study' trips degenerated into yet another hop down to the reference section, where i found a useful book on the "Principles of Biopsychology" by a certain Simon Green. To my amusement, there was a section entirely devoted to the enigmas of the human race: the left handed freaks. Don't get me wrong. I'm left handed myself.
What i found shocking was that the statistics for left handed people (constitutes of 10% of the world population) have been consistant for hundreds of years, which only serves the purpose that it doesnt happen by chance, but is actually dictated, either by natural selection (which is Darwin's piece of logical crap.. what we evolve from monkeys? bullshit!) or by some ethereal being controlling the nuances of Mankind. So all ya Atheists, better believe in God now okay..
Even today, life for the left handed in a right handed society is not easy: driving, and especially writing, where "going from the left to right means that the writer obscures what he/she has just written, leading to a loss of neatness (!) and fluency, and also the adoption of the "inverted writing posture".(Green) So that explains it..On why I have such horrible handwriting..which resembles ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics or upside-down Sanskrit.. damn! Not my fault! Levels of left handedness are also "Significantly higher in males, twins, in the mentally retarded, mathematicians, epileptics, dyslexics and artists"- Doesn't look too comforting for the leftists ey?
There happens to also be extreme positions in the debate of the origins of such notion of "handedness". One theory of Green is that left handedness is actually due to some sort of early brain damage (what the fuck!), for instance, at birth. The brain then reorganizes itself to cope with the damage, which why explains the sudden change in inclination. That's pretty hard to believe isn't it?
Another theory explains about Lefthandedness & the vulnerable male(Geshwind). Apparently theres an association between leftists and a number of auto-immune diseases, like migrane (spot on lah!), eczema, allergies and the sorts. Geshwind also noted that immune disorders were more common in leftists, and are also often associated with psychological problems, such as stuttering and dyslexia. And they are found more commonly in males. Damn. Which all points to one conclusion, that we (the leftist males) have pretty much a slim chance of living it up past 50, or even 40, with the odds (currently at 10952-1) being as slim as Kristen Kreuk NOT ending up as my wife! Hah! Gimme the latter ..
There also happens to be differing traits of skill advantages or impairments between the different handed. As we all know, the right handers are more inclined to the left hemisphere of the brain, and leftists vice-versa, in which the
Right hemisphere is all about:
- recognizing faces, abstract patterns, depth perceptions, environment sounds and musical tone
Versus The
Left hemisphere, which is better at:
-Words, digits, letters (visually presented), spoken words & syllables.
Fantastic. Which explains why i screw up my Math countless times.
Studies on brain-damaged patients also suggests that the right hemisphere produces negative emotions, which explains why left handers often have high chances of depression in their lives, whereas the rightists are contented with the fact that their predominant facet, the left hemisphere, produces postive emotional states. Wow. Lucky jackasses.
Oh, talking about odds, I was discussing with a certain soul about the chances of the Italians making it through to the next round of Euro, which is quite impossible, but he digressed and he proceeded to carry on the debate on the positives of the Catenaccio system (yeah right, tell Zlatan that). And when asked about the chances of Latvia against the Dutch, I offered a theory: "Well, Latvia is a predominantly industrialised country, but the farms and the agriculture sector are struggling. And you know what Latvian farmers say: Red sky at morning is a shephard's warning. But red sky at night is a shephard's delight. So lets go Dutch and bet on Ruud to deliver the goods.
After listening to my verbal barrage, he nodded appreciatively, winked knowingly and remarked:
"But remember, the ball is round."
To which i replied: "And? Annnnnddddd? Annnndddd thennnn?"
but the conversation was over and, like all those sages who have used that profound line before, he smiled slyly, delighted with himself with the jaw-dropping fact that he was on a higher intellectual plane than the rest of us minions, who would never fathom the importance it places on the space-time continuom of the Universe.
But then again, he's right. The ball IS round. And until today, I thought that it was a bloody trapezium.
And in case you were wondering where we were, it was in some celestial room, sheesha-ing and trying to emulate legendary dragons, and probably contributing to the sudden irregularity of our PSI index. All the smoke probably clouded my friend's judgement too!
Oh yeah, and we took pics too! So cute!
Rant 5:00 AM of Azmie
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